


I'm Fine

by Schweet



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Original Poem, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 10:38:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17641190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schweet/pseuds/Schweet





	I'm Fine

When you ask me how I am  
I say I'm fine  
Because I am  
Really I am

I say I don’t get any work done because I'm lazy  
Not because  
I'm not fine  
Because I'm fine

And I do nothing all day because  
I have nothing to else to do  
Not because  
I can only avoid my anxiety by drowning it out in a relentless spiral of YouTube video after YouTube video until it's dark again and now I'm watching a man be slapped by a fish

And I don't clean the kitchen because  
I don't like pulling my weight  
Not because  
every time I do  
I can't not see the knife out of the corner of my eye  
just there,  
just asking,  
calling,  
for me-  
for me to-

I don’t wash the dishes because  
it's gross  
not because  
every time I do  
I have to clean the knives as well and I see them and all I can think is that  
it's not where it should be,  
that my arm is too clean,  
too bare,  
and  
all I can hear is the running water  
and  
all I can see is the way the light shines on the blade  
how it changes along the edge  
and  
how that edge should be pressed against something with much more resistance than the worn out sponge  
no  
no  
its certainly  
not that  
because I'm fine

And all those broken promises  
to catch up,  
to call,  
to talk,  
It's just because  
I'm forgetful  
Not because  
I'm afraid they'll find out I'm not fine  
Because I am  
Fine  
That is

And I yell at my cat because  
I hate cat hair on my jeans  
Not because  
the touch of him winding his small body between my ankles pushes me right up against the edge again  
because I'm fine

I'm fine  
I’m fine  
I'm fine  
I'm fine

So stop asking me  
Because  
Really  
Truly  
I am

and  
I am

Because  
I need to be


End file.
